You know those weeks when you are on the go all the time, you think that you sleep but you really don't know because that damn alarm clock seems to go off the second that you put your head down on your pillow, just on the go all that damn time, and you would give anything to just have one drink...a drink of the that sweet dark carbonated drink...call nothing other then Dr. Pepper oh yeah that's right my soda addiction. Saturday was that day that I all I wanted was a soda just to hear that pop of the top and to take a good long drink of that cold carbonated drink, I mean hell the way I'm talking about it you think it was some kind of good ass drug that I was craving. So what drove me to that moment of going to the fridge and pulling out that Dr. Pepper???? Well lets go on a little trip with each other.
As you know I gave up soda and so far everything has been going great really haven't wanted any soda or fast food because i gave that up as well. Then I got a second job, and have been running around ever since and I don't mind this being on the go all the time I'm good with that, and its not really like the last time with my second job where i just total hated life and everything that went with it, so in the over all scheme of things everything is going good. Until this past week and the biggest issue lack of sleep, and you can only have so many Soy Carmel Macchiato before your body just doesn't take to the caffeine hit any more, and for me that day happened on Sat. I worked both jobs that day on very very little sleep and when I don't sleep after awhile i turn in an ass, I don't like anyone, I really don't like to do anything and I don't like to talk to anyone, until around 4 in the afternoon and then I'm good tell 7p.m. and then I'm back to being a bitch. I know this and my family knows this yet very few people i work with has gotten this through there heads, and its all good just might suck a bit for them on those days. So back to the start of my day, I get into my first job and its supper crazy non-stop on the go the whole day, moving things, picking up boxes having to help people who can't make up their minds about what they want, and just people who are pissed at the world and by the time they get to me its like I'm the one who Pissed on there Wheaties that day and they hate me. So that's what I do for the first part of my day, so at that point who wouldn't want a drink just a little something to jump start myself to get ready for my next job. I get off of work and leave that crazy zoo and on weird to my house to pickup my uncle so he can help me with my second job.
When i arrive to my house I find my whole family there and now I really didn't want to go to my second job I love being able to spend time with my family( we are like the family in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" but we are Islanders) anyway I stop in and say hi to stuff my face of food...did I mention that I hadn't had any food at all that day...if not now you know. After my Hi-Goodbys I walk out of the house and there in the garage it sits the fridge calling to me. As I walk to the fridge and place my hand on the handle I start to justify my actions. I open the fridge and pull out a Cold Dr. Pepper and again knowing that I should just put it back down and walk away I again start to justify to myself as to why I should have it, why I can have it and that its OK for me to have it. I tell myself know one will know if I have just one, Its OK to give in, Its only one what can it really hurt. I close the fridge drink still in my hand and I get into my car, place my drink into the cup holder and my uncle and I are off to my second job. During are ride I had that drink sitting there just one action and I could be drinking it (For the record I really do sound like an addict). We arrive to my second job and all is good I didn't open the drink, I didn't take it in with me I left it in the truck.
By the time I started at my second job I was hitting that other point of being tired and just wanting to be home with my family needless to say that was not a very good time there as well. Full of stress, making sure my filters where up and running at full strength so the things that I were thinking were not coming out of my mouth, needless to say just another one of those days at work where you just want to drink when you are done.
Finally we head home and there it sits in the truck that unopened can and again if I drank it who would know, and as I reach down to the cup holders I have a total come to Jesus meeting with myself and grab the bottle of water right next to it, and drink that all the way home. When we arrive home I grab that heathen can of Dr. Pepper and put it right back where it belonged in the fridge with the other sodas.
I did it, I over came my temptation I found that inner strength, I know seems really small but again its the small things that really matter in the bigger picture. That whole just say No yeah it works, but I think that you have to have that understanding that everyone will know if you give in, and all though in the long run it really doesn't matter what other people think, it dose matter what you think and how you fill about what you are doing. For me if I had given in I know that I would have failed myself and I couldn't and wouldn't do that, again little steps to keep you pushing to your bigger goal. It feels total good to fight that urge, it gave me the hope and the want and the fight to push more to the goals I want, If i can fight that, I can fight for anything I want.
On another note I would just like to say while trying on jeans today I managed to squeeze myself into a size 16 buttoned and all that good stuff, all though I had a major muffin top it was the fact that I did it and it felt amazing again small things but working towards the bigger goal.
Until next time Keep over coming your temptations and fighting for what you want.
McKnight out.
