You ever have one of those weeks…. a
cluster fuck is the only way to describe this past week. Let me explain to you how this week has gone
for me, because if there was ever a week to relapse and eat a bunch of fatty
foods, not work out and go back to eating fast foods this would be the week.
Sunday I’m heading into work feel
good excited to see my co-workers. The weather was so nice windows damn jamming
out to music hit the highway and all of a sudden I hear this loud pop and my
car doesn’t feel the same. So naturally I keep on driving. I notice that my battery light has come on
but I still have power and the service engine light has not come on and I’m not
over heating, so what do I do, I keep on driving, I had to get to work. I finally
get off the highway and just pray that when I come to a stop my car doesn’t
die, which it doesn’t but by the time I get parked out in the BFE my car is
smoking, awesome. I pop the hood and notice that the belt has come off, it
didn’t break…. Oh no just came the fuck off. It was like my car became an
oriental old man and said “ I WORK FOR YOU NO MORE!”
Now lets face it anytime something
goes wrong with you car it puts you in funk.
I throw the belt in my car grab my water and bag and start walking out
of BFE, which normally means you walk across traffic that is coming in and out
of the store. Its like playing frogger, or better yet 50 points if you hit the
big ball of light walking across the walk way. I mean really…I know I’m a
beacon of light but that doesn’t mean I’m carrying a sign “Hi… Please hit
me. Although, if you hit me my fat ass
will leave a good dent in your car, which would serve you right, then I’m going
to laugh at you and then scream out in pain. After playing frogger in the
parking lot level I just didn’t have it in me to face Mt. Everest AKA THE
STAIRS! I will admit I took the elevator
I couldn’t take the taunting and the ass whooping I get from the stairs, I did
make it up later that night any time I had to go up the stairs I ran them…they
still kicked my ass. The rest of Sunday was just ugh.
Monday, oh Monday I broke down on
Monday. My dad and I go and get my car from work I must say we are getting very
good at towing my car back to my parent’s house. My dad is awesome as he always
tells me “I’m not a mechanic” yet he is always able to fix my car come hell or
high water he figures out how to do it, and this time was no different. He gets
the belt back on my car I get ready to start it and then belt makes this horrible
noise and comes right off, so he puts the belt back on and we try it again and
it comes right back off. Now this is about the time my dad looks at me and says
“ I don’t know what else to do, we might have to take to a mechanic” and I
replay “ok thanks for trying”. Now all I really heard out of this was “blah,
blah, blah my car is dying and I don’t have the money to fix it and I need to
face the facts I need a new car” I go inside sit down and my mom ask about the
car and this is about the time as my brother puts it “I stated crying like a
little bitch” and I will admit I did. It was a total break down I couldn’t keep
it together. Now I know some of you might be say Nik it’s just a car come on,
but the truth is it’s not just a car to me. That car is a part of me, when I
moved away from home my car was with me it was like my home away from home, I
can’t tell you how many tears have been cried in that car, how many good times
have come out of that car, the road trips I have taken, the amount of crap I
have put in that car. It has been my rock so to speak when I need that car to
be there for me its there. And has been there for 130,000 miles it was used
before I got it I can’t own all 158,000 as my own, and for the longest time the
only things that I had to show for myself as something I accomplished was a piece
of paper that says I have BS in CJC and my car. So needless to say I was heart
broken over my car not working. Later that day when I got home I decide that I
need to workout, I have to get out of this funk I don’t like feeling depressed.
I decide that I’m going to Zumba my way out of this feeling, and Zumba I did.
It totally got me working out and laughing
because I am a WHITE GIRL!!!!! Don’t let the Asian eyes fool you. I have no coordination
to ZUMBA and it’s a good thing I do this by myself because I would never live
it down and I don’t know if fat people should do this crap. Its like fat in
motion you may be stopped but that fat roll is still moving and if your not careful it will knock you off balance and then TIMBER!!!! There your fat ass goes
straight to the ground you hit and the earth shakes a little. Although I will
say I don’t yell at these people nearly as much as I do the Insanity people, I
just laugh at myself a lot more. Later that night my mom calls me to tell me my
dad fixed the my car put a new part on and a new belt and as he says “that
bitch isn’t going anywhere” Apparently when a major part is two sizes smaller
then it should be your belt comes off. Who knew! Belts on, I attempt to start
my car…the battery is dead. If there was a sign that said bang head here I
would have been doing that, all you can do is just walk away.
Tuesday came and went with just a
very long day of work and crazy people with their kitchens. Now on my long days
I get a lunch break which is great, but here is the down part, I won’t eat the
food at work its one of those I smell it everyday when I come in and it just
doesn’t smell good any more. So this leaves me with bring my own lunch into
work. Now I would have no problem with bringing something into work that needs
to be refrigerated but there is only one restaurant size refrigerator to keep everyone’s
lunch cold, and everyone in the store could be using it. Now here is my problem
with it when you have a fridge like that its just saying “Hi person who didn’t
bring in their lunch please take something, no one will know that its not yours”
and we all know there are people who do that, and if your one of those people
lord help you if you take my lunch one day. Because I swear if I ever find out
someone has taken my lunch or is taking something from my lunch I will hunt
them down and bite their arm off and beat them over the head with it, because I
may be working out and losing weight but I will always be a fat girl at heart
and you don’t mess with a fat girls food, that is probable cause to hurt someone.
So to avoid possible harm to anyone I brought a sandwich something I can lock
up in my locker…I’m so over sandwiches but its safe and no one can take it. SO
other then choking down another sandwich Tuesday came and went with nothing
really wrong. In all honesty there was signs of hope because I was going to be
able to get a new battery for my car.
Wednesday was good got my new
battery, had a great time hanging out with my mom, laughed so hard I worked out
my abs, and my dad put in my new battery and my car is alive again, and he says
he’s not a mechanic…ok he may not be a mechanic but he is a damn good dad. Not a
lot of things happened on Wednesdays, but what did happen was this, in a matter
of one day my week turned around when I needed to be with my family they were
there for me and they where there to help me out, not only with the physical
things like fixing my car but the emotional things, because the best part about
that night was when my dad did a total knee strike to my brother who had been
talking about all the moves he learned in training and dropped him to the
ground talk about the earth shaking and it was one of those “who’s crying like
a little bitch now” moments. After spending the day with my family my whole attitude
changed when I came home and worked out I felt ten times better and well I was
doing Zumba so I just continued laughing my ass off.
So here we are Thursday I know
there are still two more days in the week but I have to get this post out
because if not I will be getting text messages by people who are upset they
don’t have anything to read while they should be working….you know who you all
are don’t trying to act like you don’t. Anyways even though I spent my day
babysitting it still gives me a lot of time to think, and in a lot of ways I
think this week was a break through week for me and this is why. When you are
changing so much in your life at one time you need to break down, something
needs to push you over the edge its like the thought of one more change and you
can’t handle any of it. Yet this is just a challenge because you can do one of
two things. One you can take steps backwards and go back to your old self and
everything you have worked for to this point will mean nothing, or you can go
with option two admit defeat on this one, and battle be keep on fighting the
war. The old me would have used this as an excuse to go get fast food, to drink
a soda to be depressed to be pissed at the world. I can’t do that anymore I
don’t want to do that anymore. Instead I squatted at my parents house for a day
I needed it, I needed my support system, I needed my family, I needed to really
laugh and have fun. I wanted to eat fast food, I wanted taco bell this week and
the old me would have said go for it what’s one day going to do. I couldn’t do
it, I didn’t do it instead I made my own Mexican pizza at home tonight and it
was amazing and just being able to cook for me is relaxing and peaceful its
what I needed. I have spent most of my night just dancing music turned up and
dancing not Zumba just doing my own thing and you know it was its own work out.
I didn’t needed some one to tell me to keep my core tight and move my arms I
was doing it on my own and I may not have been in my work out clothes but I was
working out and I was having fun and its what I needed.
Sometimes when making life changes
there are going to be small hick ups.
When this happens you need to be able to find what’s going to help you
get through them, what you need, don’t let the little set backs knock you off
your path they are their to teach you something. For me it was there to remind
me that no matter what my family will always be there for me and I know that
may seem like a no brainer but there are times that I just need to be reminded.
Also, it’s OK to cry, sometimes you just need to cry then be able to laugh
about it later. So when you hit those days or weeks where you feel a bucket of
yuck has been dumped on you don’t let it set you back, keep on going, cry a
little, laugh a lot and always remember a body in motion is a body working off
fat so turn up the music and shake your tail feathers it will help shake off
the yuck.
Until next time, keep shaking your
tail feathers.
Laughing
her ass off girl out.
