Friday, May 4, 2012

A little behind but better late then never...Sorry


Lets see for starts I’m going to say sorry that I’m a bit behind on my blog post life is getting a little crazy. Which is funny because I thought that by taking the season off of soccer I would have had more time on my hands.  What has actually happened is I’m just as crazy busy, but it’s a good busy I like having that crazy life, being busy and on the go.  Which is why I have fallen a little behind on getting up the post as my Auntie Liz said all this means is that now I’m getting a life back, which is so true and its great, its crazy to think how much has changed for me in the last several months.
            The other day I was driving around running errands, but I still took the time to really look around me, and it was one of those amazing Colorado days where the sky is this amazing color of blue the greens are so vibrant and is the perfect contrast against the blue sky, and I really noticed how everything is coming into bloom you know springtime in the Rockies. Everything is coming to life and it really hit me, somehow with my busy schedulable, new opportunities, changes in my life and in general pushing myself to do new things I really noticed I feel like I’m coming back to life. All of these changes, all of these things going on its an amazing feeling to be able to accomplish things I never though that I would. To be able to push forward and change my life in a good way, it was that Ah-Ha moment, that damn, things are changing, I am becoming who I wanted to be, and really this is what this whole journey has been about. Yes, the losing the weight has been great and I love the way that I’m starting to look, which is something that I would not normally say but its true its great fitting into pants that I have not been able to wear in years to look in a mirror and be all damn I look good.
All of this is great but while losing the weight I have been making some major life changes my eating habits alone have been a big change. Now I can say in the past week I have tried eating fast food again I was on the go and with family so we stopped in to get a quick burger, and I never though these words would ever come out of my mouth but that was the grosses thing I have ever eaten. For someone who loved fast food, could eat it every day I never really thought that the change would really happen but it has, and the best part about it, after I had fast food all I wanted to do was eat a salad and work out. Its little changes like that, that is keeping me going and staying positive.  The other thing that I have really noticed is that I really like the way I’m looking like I said earlier, which is why its getting harder to write about things. I noticed looking back at my past blogs that I was ripping on myself and yeah it was funny but it was a way for me to poke fun at myself to deal with the things that I didn’t like about myself.  Now I really like the way I look, I don’t see myself as this chunky monkey girl with bat wings that can fly her to Paris and back. Now I see Nikki and as simple as that may seem, it was very hard for me to understand and believe who I was and really like the person I am.
            Its crazy to think that it has taken me this long to figure out all of this, but I’m glad that I did I mean better sooner then later, all though this has been a long time coming so maybe this is the later rather then the sooner, or something like that, all I know is that it’s the perfect time right before I head out on my trip to California and right before my 29th birthday. Damn things are changing and things are heading in the right direction, so bring on spring and the new changes that come with it. Keep pushing yourself to change and move forward and become the person you want to be.  Tell next time hopefully I will be able to get something up before I head out of town.  Keep pushing forward and keep changing to who you want to be.
Nikki Out

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