That "wonderful" gift.

To start with I’m going to put a little disclaimer out there for any guy who is reading this. This is a post about PMS and all the joy that goes with it and if you can’t handle hearing a girl complain about this lovely gift that we wonderful women have once a month…and I say that with sarcasm in my voice…then I would strongly suggest you leave now…and then come back in about 20 minutes with something sweet and salty, bottle of Advil and a box of tissues. Now if you’re a manly man and can take it on, then please by all means read on.  

            Ugh really once a month we go through hell, and I think we all know what I’m talking about…Not only do we have to carry on with our daily routine while our body is trying so hard to…for lack of a better word “abort” apart of our body we have to act as if nothing is wrong, keep a smile on our face and fight back the multiple impulsive urges to randomly bitch slap people who we find annoying for no other reason then they are in our personal space, and by personal space I’m talking about the 20 mile radius around us.  Ladies you know what I’m talking about.  We act as if nothing is going on, in addition to all of the pain and mood issues there is the random cramps, hot flashes, fatigue, and body aches, but it never fails there is always some jackass who makes feels the need to comment “ looks like its someone’s time of the month” and really that is about the time where if you could throw something at them you would.  Then there is the whole food issue. Yes, food that oh some amazing food, that salty, sweet delicious food. This damn cycle is a cruel joke for anyone who is dieting, losing weight, or working out you name it its just cruel.  It never fails that for about a week all you want to do is stuff your face with potato chips, French fries so really anything salty, and sometimes its so bad that there are days where the sound of a bowl of salt sounds like a good idea, wrong by true.  Worse yet are the sweets…. there is NOTHING better then chocolate…well maybe chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup.  Needless to say it’s a train wreck and the worst part is we will go out of our way to the grocery store just to pick up these wonderful foods that lets face it are not so wonderful, and by all means if you can have a salty sweet food together its like effing heaven, the most amazing thing in the world…take note guys I’m just saying this could save you in the long run.

So now we have not only stuffed our faces full of unhealthy yet salty sweet goodness there is that even bigger issue of fat pants, yes the fat pants because for some reason I feel it is a cosmic joke that for one week none of your clothes fit.  It’s the one time in your life that a moo moo should be accepted as daily wear without any one poking fun of, or making comments about it. “Yes damn it I’m in a moo moo what’s it to you?  Is that a snickers in your hand? Yes, then thank you I will take that off your hands while I slap you and go on my way”.

It’s a horrible time to start with and to be working out and dieting during this time is just plain hell.  I know there are those who say “if you work out you will feel so much better”. Well thanks…I’m sure that the person who is saying this is 1) a guy who has never had to deal with this issue, or 2) that very skinny bitch who doesn’t get cramps that feel like your insides are trying to claw their way out of your body and who doesn’t eat to begin with.   Thank you, but your opinions don’t count your abnormal to begin with… I’m just saying. Because most normal woman will tell you that the idea of working out and sweating while you already feel like you want to crawl out of your skin is not their idea of a good time or something they even want to think about.  No we want to sit in our fat pants and eat chocolate with a side of salt.

Now you might be asking why I have decide to discuss this subject since it is a natural/normal part of a woman’s life.   If you’re losing weight you not only have to deal with the affects of your normal issues you have to deal with the food issues.   Yes I have to deal with it and I’m going to be honest I tend to turn into Satan, its cool I know I do, and I have decided that’s its way better to give into those cravings, than to deny yourself the things you want during this week.  Just remember that moderation is the key!  Don’t eat the whole container of ice cream and a bag of chips in one sitting…eat them throughout the day, that way it will be considered several meals in a day not just one, see moderation. Not to mention if we are all happy during this “wonderful time of the month” then everyone around us is happy.

So ladies its ok give in to your chocolate bar with a side of salt, cry a little when you see those commercials about animals and any other non-sappy thing that becomes sappy for one week. Just as long as you make it up to your elf for the rest of the month add an extra 15 minutes on to your workout, be a little more strict on the food you eat throughout the month it will all even out and you will be ok.  I say this from experience and I figure I can’t be the only person who has this problem, since I’m sharing my struggles and triumphs during this losing weight process I figure its about time that I put something up about having to deal with this “situation”.  Just remember stay strong, have some ice cream and chips, cry a little over nothing, be comfortable in your fat pants and then get back to it double time the rest of the month.

Until next time

Emotionally crying and eating girl out.