I have never really been a go to the gym every day kind of a person tell I moved to Vegas. It all happened about a month after me moving here. I was stilling in my apt, I has just finished making dinner sat down on the floor at my little coffee table infront of my tv, because well I had no furniture.. Which is really funny if you think about it, being I work at a store that sales home furnishings. However I'm sitting down feeling hella low and finally decided that I need to get out and meet people, or just be around people I couldn't sit at my house any more. The next day after I work I went to the gym and got my membership.
Before when I had gone to the gym I had always felt judged by everyone there. You know you go and work out and you see all those people there that are super fit, not every breaking a swea. The guys are all super buff muscles exploding caring around there proline shakes and carrying there gallon water bottles. The girls are equity fit and cut and their hair and makeup are on point. Then there is me, no make up hair a mess, soccer shorts and T-shirt dripping wet because well I seat for everyone else in the damn place, but my point to this is I never felt comfortable having to do what I needed to do to get in shape. Then I tried the whole working out at home which was great for about 2 weeks and then my bed felt amazing and their was always a reason why I shouldn't get up and work out. Needless to say I was a chunky monkey, now don't get me wrong I'm still curvy and got some extra loven but this time I'm loven my curves, What's the different you might ask well I finally found a gym that I enjoy working out in and going to. Leave it to Vegas to finally get my shit together, it's a bit funny that I had to move to Sin city to find myself I'm sure that there is something to say about that, but we will touch on that another day.
Back to my gym, this place is great I can go and work out any time because like so many places out here is 24hrs the best part about the 24hrs is the different type of people you get to see while your there. In the morning you get the Sinors, who don't just walk all day the bust out lifting weights and to be honest some times put me to shame there just busting out their sets with out struggling and here I am trying to work my triceps being all shaky just thinking one more set and I get to have a strawberry and banana smoothly. So anyway you have that group then you have the group of parents who just dropped the kids off and they are getting in there moment of freedom with no kids and then are in the zone you nothing is going to get in there way this is there time. In the middle of the day you have the people who work nights who just woke up so your hotel works and well you its Vegas so you get some of strippers which not going to lie I see them working and total want a butt like that, then I remember that I'm short and that gob blessed me with big boobs and no butt and it is what it is, and then I go back to doing my squats and prying that I don't blow my knee out because well I'm an old soccer player and one of the few that still has full knees in tacked. Then there is the group right after work and late into the night, this is normally when you see all the really big muscled guys and cut girls the ones that you normally see on TV when they talk about gyms the ones that always made me feel very uneasy at other gyms. Yet these are the ones that I see and get motivated by while I work out, when I can't do one more rep and see them and I push myself. The difference that I have noticed is when they look at people working out who are not as fit. Much like my self they don't having that judging look more of a you got that kind of a look and keep on going. Then there is their late night midnight type of gym people this is normally where I fit in, this group of people is the group that you can tell can't sleep, need something to do. Keep to themselves do what they got to do get in and get out kind of a group. Out of all the time I go to the gym this is when I love to work out 11pm.
11pm its when I head to the gym, me in my yoga pants and captain America shirt. It's the time that I have found I can dig deep, fight through the pain in my stomach right where my scars are I feel every sit up, every stomach exercise I feel the pull the pain yet I still find reasons to dig deep and keep going. I still total sucks at the cardio, there is still no good reason to run just to run, the stair master who the walks up stairs like that, it's either to damn slow and it's like I forget how to walk or to fast and about 5min in I'm feel like I'm climbing mount Evens and come to find. Out the 5min I though i had been doing, was really only a min and then I decided that nothing good is going to come out of this damn machine. So it's on to the next cardio machine which leaves the bike or the treadmill, so the treadmill it is, I can at least feel like I'm walking up hill and accomplishing something while I'm on it, but lest be real I like the lifting weights more then anything, but still push the cardio shit. It's still crazy though to think, that me of all people like going to gym, find peace and clarity going to a gym and getting a work out in. Sometimes I have to check myself to make sure I'm still me and haven't been swapped out with an alien or something like that. I mean it is Vegas and I'm not all that far away from Area 51...I'm just saying.
Over all, everything that has been happening, all that has been changing there are something that I have come to the conclusion on:
1. I'm done looking at the number on the scales that's not what matters it's a number and I'm not going to live by it.
2. Im do worrying about what size pants I wear and always wanting to fit into some smaller clothes and feeling down because I can't .
3. Which I think is the biggest more important one of all, I love my curves, my stomach, my flappy arms I love me, and all of this has come from going to the gym as I work out and see changes and see that yes, I'm sliming down but I'm always going to have curves. I'm always going to be bigger but let's be real my legs are fucking amazing, my arms are coming along, and I have hips again and my stomach well that will come along, but I love food so there are things that are always going to stay a little bit bigger.
it's not always that bad to have a little bit of a jiggle in your step.
Tell next time
McKnight Out.
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