Fat Girl Intervention - The One Serious Post

Losing weight is more then changing your diet and working out, lets face it yes you can do all those thing and lose the weight but if your not willing to looks at why you got fat in the first place and be willing to make some life changes and face your issues its just a matter of time before you relapse and become fat again. Hence the yo-yo diet you hear so many people going on and on about, you lose the weight you put it back on you lose it to put it back on. This way of living can’t be healthy either, and have you ever noticed when you do that the weight comes back ten fold. So really when you think about it to be able to lose weight and keep it off you have to be willing to let go of what ever issues you have from your past and start over, its like shedding off the bad crap and letting the new more lively crap in, so to speak. Take those meditation tapes for example when they sit there and say “now imagine your life right now as a seed in the ground its dark and cold but as the seasons change this seed comes to life and starts to bloom into a beautiful, strong, vibrant read roses full of life, love and happiness…blah, blah, blah.” And in the midst of all of this, this explanation is suppose to represent you letting go of your past that’s holding you down and letting in the changes so you can become this beautiful, strong, loving, happy person, and in theory that is great, but really a rose?  Don’t get me wrong I love roses and I love getting them, but they die in a couple of days and if you have a rose bush its beautiful for a week or so and then its just a bush. So really you have something that is great and wonderful for a couple of weeks and then it dies and goes back to dull and boring…sound like all of my diet attempts in the past…Fail.
So, why did my other diet attempts fail?  I will tell you why it’s because food is like a drug for me and so are sodas and adult beverages. But to really understand this statement I think I need to have one of those movie recaps of the past ten years with 30 STM “A Beautiful Lie” playing in the background.  Ok ready movie flashback fade into black…..
2001 my senior year of high school was about the time I started putting on the weight. I was only playing soccer during the fall season and that was it for sports and working out. I, like so many girls when they have a high school boyfriend was paying more attention to him and being all wrapped up in that crap rather than worry about myself.  But through all of this I was still eating all the fast food, candies, fatty foods and sodas like I was still playing soccer and running around non-stop, hence the start to putting on the weight. Now on to the college years so 2001 – 2006 or better yet lets call these the fat years. The college fifteen turned in to the college lets add on a second chin, a muffin top and a giggle ass.  I was going out and parting with friends eating fast food I turned 21 during these years too, so I was going out to the bars and visited Malibu a lot…well the land of Malibu and cokes. I was still dating my high school boyfriend during this time then well that relationship went from bad to worst then to ugly and it just sucked ass in the end. While all of this was going on the drinking the parting, not really getting any sleep eating fast food day in and day out it truly wasn’t not a healthy lifestyle both mentally and physically. After graduation from college I moved away from home to Alabama, moved back home. I stated working for a company just being nice not going to name them but let’s call it the seventh circle of HELL!!! For five years, desk job plus lots of sodas and sugar to keep you awake equals a giggle puff ass. In the mist of this five years my family lost two very important people in our life’s to cancer, moved out of my parents house and in to a house with roommates, and that seventh circle of HELL job I had, the stress became so bad that it was truly slowly killing me and then the best thing happened I got fired from HELL and bam just like that movie flashback over and where back to the present. 
All in all I have been on a one-way highway called depression head straight for disaster canyon. Now don’t get me wrong there was a lot of fun times during all of this it wasn’t all sad and downhill, but I can say that there might have been more bad times then good. Well at least that was all I could see at the time. Needless to say that I was not good to myself in my twenties, I could have stopped doing all of this to myself at any point in time, but at that time my head was not in the right place and food and drinking was my drug to get away form everything. When you make up excuses as to why you need something, and you know that you are going to have withdrawals such as caffeine withdrawals you know you’re hooked…I was hooked. If I were able to go and kick my younger self’s ass right about now I would…. straight into next week and then kick it again.  To sum up the past ten years I became addicted to food and well soda and alcohol I didn’t care about myself, I had no self-esteem or confidence, and managed to hurt my family and friends as all they could do was sit there and watch me go downhill. If I was one of those DE motivator posters it would have a picture of me with a cheeseburger in one hand a Malibu and coke in the other passed out in a pile of Wendy’s, McDonald’s and Burger King bags, french fries in my hair ketchup on my cheek with the words FAIL underneath.
Now the intervention part of this, when you hit rock bottom you have to find reason to keep fighting to pull yourself out of the big as pile of crap. Something that makes you see the good reason and good thing about your self to change your life. Now I could start the whole lets write a letter Dear Nikki I’m writing you this letter to say that you are an amazing and a beautiful person blah, blah, blah. Here it is in short hand I kick ass and if you don’t think so well you can go and…well I think you know what you can do. Now I found the reason why and admitted to the reason as to how I became fat, so I passed that step, now on to the working out and changing my food habits and lifestyle. I’m going to tell you the working out will be nothing compared to the pain that comes from the soul searching and admitting to the things lead you to this point, but once you get passed that point it’s a relief and a big ass weight off your shoulder, give the world back to Atlas he has been doing a good job of caring it for all these years well centuries. All of this soul searching took me a good year and it was hard as hell, now I feel that I’m in a good place I feel good on the inside, now to work on the outside, which is why I’m losing the weight.
Couple tips when you do the soul searching find something that will help pull you out of your bad days makes you want to get up and dance sing at the top of your lungs, for me it’s a song by 30 Seconds To Mars “Closer To The Edge”, don’t be afraid to cry a little its good for the soul. Write shit down get it out of your system don’t keep it all to yourself it’s not good. Find something you like about yourself, be it your personality, your eyes, smile whatever and enhance those thing make them stand out you will be amazed that it really does make you feel good, because other people will notice it. Over all find things that make you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and hold on to them.
Now that we’re done with the serious stuff lets get back to the funny shit and kick fats ass.
Tell Next time
Fat Girl Out.